100 Reasons to Break A Date

BrewLabs: check this out ::: 11 excuses to use is you are breaking a date
BrewLabs: 1. Family emergency
2. Family in town
3. The work emergency
4. I'm not feeling very well
5. I want time to plan something special
6. My friend needs my support
7. I'm helping a friend move
8. I'm volunteering that day
9. I need to study
10. I'm having car trouble
11. My pet is sick
SirShades: 12. My head is wedged so far up my ass I can't see to drive
SirShades: 13. Bad hair day..see 12 for reason
BrewLabs: 14. I know Bud Parsons
SirShades: 15. Sprained neck..again, see 12 for reason
BrewLabs: 16. Three simple words .... i am gay
SirShades: 17. I met a stripper in Pittsburgh
BrewLabs: 18. I have a hole in my hand from kayaking
BrewLabs: 19. I might end up being as happy as my friends - so I can't
BrewLabs: 20. I have to exercise my dating muscles
SirShades: 21. Valerie Bertinelli has just become available
SirShades: 22. I have to get "plups and a concret bit" for work
BrewLabs: 23. Too tired from laying block since i was 14 years old
BrewLabs: 24. Have to make an emergency trip to the Lackawanna Coal Museum
SirShades: 25. Been laying in my hammock all day and now my ass is asleep
SirShades: 26. John O'Boyle is gay
BrewLabs: 27. Bud is gay
BrewLabs: 28. I don't have enough beer to make you look good
SirShades: 29. I can't bring you back to my place because they come in at night and drag my tent-mate, Tom Fritz, and his cot out into the woods every night.
SirShades: 30. Baboo might be there.
BrewLabs: 31. Lack of sleep because I need a pillow to sleep
SirShades: I'm sensing this may be our first prop for the July 4th 2003 party!
BrewLabs: i will save this info
SirShades: 32. Pop Lamarca hasn't finished his current fishing story.
BrewLabs: i am sure we wouldn't have any problem making this to about 100 items...haha
SirShades: Not at all
SirShades: 33. I'm a worm - Hear my mating call -- "wadda wadda wadda"
BrewLabs: 34. It's raining and I'm all out of hefty bags
SirShades: 35. THEY CUT MY DAMN LINES!!!
SirShades: 36. Mike has me by the ear.
BrewLabs: 37. I'm cleaning my oven!
BrewLabs: 38. I am being searched at the Canadian border.
BrewLabs: 39. I broke a prop.
BrewLabs: 40. i have to go to the Denny's in North Syracuse
BrewLabs: 41. I broke a bail spring.
BrewLabs: bale? bail? hmmm
BrewLabs: 42. I have to go to Spaceport and play Crazy Climber.
BrewLabs: 43. I'm out of Power Bait.
SirShades: 44. I don't have my shoes on
SirShades: 45. I forgot my depth sounder
BrewLabs: 46. My trolling motor is broken.
SirShades: 47. I'm "Brown"
BrewLabs: 48. I have a treble hook stuck in my hand from a goddamn pencil pike!
SirShades: 48. There was this 10 inch Pike and I ....
SirShades: That's too funny!!!!
BrewLabs: can we try that again? what am i thinking right now?
SirShades: 49. My Phillies cap has been torn from my head by a rocketing Nerf ball hit by a section of 1 X 3 pine wood.
SirShades: You're thinking about sex, right?
BrewLabs: of course
SirShades: Uncanny
SirShades: must me mental telepathy
SirShades: Gotta run some errands, be back soon
BrewLabs: 50. I can't find my Big Tom Rig
SirShades: If it was up your ass you'd know it!

Intermission

BrewLabs: 51. I have to go to Indiana to buy fireworks
SirShades: 52. I got crabs going to Indiana to buy fireworks.
SirShades: 53. I answered the bridge keepers question wrong..AAAAHHHH!!!
BrewLabs: 54. I have to host Ohio Jeopardy

Interlude #1

SirShades: LMAO
SirShades: I almost forgot about that
SirShades: I have to pull that tape out
BrewLabs: its all on tape ... yet another reason why we can never run for political office
BrewLabs: Can you see me being interviewed by Tom Brokaw or something - and him asking - --- Is it true that you referred to people from Ohio as Ohio-tards? 
SirShades: How funny would that be...Nov 1st 2016, we've come across a video of the presidential and vice presidential candidates form 20+ years ago
BrewLabs: President Beavis and Vice President Butthead
BrewLabs: or vice versa
SirShades: Yea, we would lose Ohio
BrewLabs: yeah - the critical Reynoldsburg and Huber Heights vote would be gone
SirShades: And every city that stole its name from a city in another state...hey, that's all of them!
BrewLabs: god there are so many incriminating photos/tapes/memorabilia - the blackmailers wouldn't know where to start
SirShades: The Sped/Clam (Clam/Sped) party ticket has suspended campaigning this July 4th weekend to conduct a drunken orgy of a picnic, complete with illegal fireworks
BrewLabs: we might be able to overcome many things but the first time someone interviews Bud on TV we would be through
SirShades: or Hogan
SirShades: OR ED!
BrewLabs: oh man ... i beginning to feel like I may not be able to get another mortgage or credit card now ... I'm sorry sir but do you know any of these people -- I'm sorry you are a bad risk
SirShades: Mr. Ed Temos here to speak with us, so Mr. Temos, how do you know the candidates for...ED, THERE'S A DEAD TREE OVER THERE!! Where? Oh! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! We seem to have lost Mr. Temos. Whew! That was close!
BrewLabs: Mr Temos - Do you think that Mike and Tom would be good for the country --- ED: I dont know - maybe sometime in the future...
SirShades: LMAO
BrewLabs: BROKAW: Now Mr. Parsons ... BUD: Call me Bud BROKAW: Okay , Bud, is it true you are gay?
BrewLabs: BUD: Aaawww ....
BrewLabs: BROKAW: Freak Out
SirShades: BROKAW: Stay tuned, our in studio guests will be the fathers of the Sped/Clam candidates, Mr. Joseph Lamarca and Mr. Walter Schaedler
BrewLabs: ut o -- now we are through
SirShades: WALT: They play music in the boat and dance around without shoes!
SirShades: POP: And they never eat at the Denny's outside of Binghamton
SirShades: WALT: That's not the one we go to
SirShades: POP: Yes it is
SirShades: WALT: No, we go in Syracuse
SirShades: POP: We do not
SirShades: BROKAW: Uh, gentlemen...
BrewLabs: I just thought of another town we would lose --- Nedrow
SirShades: yup

*****

BrewLabs: 55. I fell asleep in my boat under a willow tree
SirShades: 56. I have too many shoes, tackle boxes and hangers in my car, there's no room for you.
SirShades: 57. I went to a fish club meeting my father and his friend are running the other day...it still isn't over.
BrewLabs: oh my god - 56 put me in tears
BrewLabs: "there's no room for you"....
SirShades: LOL
SirShades: Yes we must save this list
SirShades: Its inspired, like Body by Bud!
BrewLabs: i saved the first 50 --- it is in a file titled "100 ways to break a date"
SirShades: we'll get there
BrewLabs: i was being confident
SirShades: 58. Last time I took a date to the Fourth of July party...
SirShades: any one of us can finish that one
BrewLabs: yeah - but I think we would need to go to the master of that one ... Dave
SirShades: yea
BrewLabs: 59. I'm busy feeling up mike's sister-in-law in the front yard
SirShades: 60. The corn field is on fire.
BrewLabs: 61. I have to make women out of PVC
BrewLabs: 62. I am busy playing the Pop Fishin' Game
SirShades: 63. I saw a poster of Rich's ass, I'm just not in the mood anymore.
BrewLabs: LMAO
BrewLabs: 64. I have to help my parents blow up a sex doll
SirShades: It's not for me!
BrewLabs: 65. I have to play at the Pre-Party Big Friday Night Blues Jam
SirShades: 66. Mike and I started this horseshoe game and we're not really anywhere near 21 yet
SirShades: 67. I pulled a hamstring in wiffle ball HR derby
BrewLabs: 67. I have hours of volleyball coverage to film
SirShades: That's the first number duplication
BrewLabs: 69. Dave wants to have sex again
SirShades: fitting at #69
BrewLabs: I try to be appropriate
SirShades: you always are
BrewLabs: 70. ... and again 
SirShades: 71. That's enough!
BrewLabs: 72. Busy making Naked Lady Lager
BrewLabs: 73. Had nasty lawn chair accident in the back of a van
SirShades: LOL
BrewLabs: 74. Busy carrying cases of peaches and nut roll back to camp
SirShades: 75. The Simpson's are on.
BrewLabs: 76. New playstation hockey game is available
SirShades: 77. Some sauce shit spilled out of my McChicken all over my pants...again!
BrewLabs: 78. Fell through the roof at work
BrewLabs: >>>> actually i believe the correct term you used to use was McChicken Shit
SirShades: Thank you for the correction
SirShades: 79. Have to sleep out at the creek to make sure no one fishes on our property.
BrewLabs: 80. Have to watch Browns-Broncos game
BrewLabs: 81. Have to have bee sting treated 
SirShades: 82. Cutting an album of children's songs played on beer bottles. (And its NOT Where is Thumbkin!)
SirShades: 83. Watching Viva Las Vegas
BrewLabs: 84. Cutting an album of rap songs under the name Butter & Lard
SirShades: 85. Got drenched with hot water in fire building contest
SirShades: LMBFMFHAO!!!!!
SirShades: 86. Asbestos Pudding World tour kicking off
SirShades: If I..wanna eat a pie..it goes to my thighs ... it none of yo biz'nez
BrewLabs: aaaoooooo
SirShades: I'm gonna get in trouble
BrewLabs: 87. Busy making Bud's girlfriend cry
BrewLabs: why?
SirShades: Rolling on the floor, laughing out loud when supposed to be working
SirShades: something like that
BrewLabs: I play obnoxious music really loud to cover that up
SirShades: 88. Trying to make a salad

Interlude #2

SirShades: I've got U2 on right now
SirShades: Baby, Baby, Baby Light my way
SirShades: Baby. Baby, Baby Bud is Gay
BrewLabs: I have my whole library playing -- was just listening to IceT sing "KKK Bitch"
BrewLabs: haha
BrewLabs: time out --- quick story
SirShades: Ok
BrewLabs: i was at Dave's office and he was trying out an audio program to record his patient notes and they would be transcribed from his voice to text
BrewLabs: so he is trying to make it learn so he is saying phrases into it - so of course we start getting stupid - and he tries to make it type --- Bud is Gay
BrewLabs: it is writing stuff like --- Butt Gray ,,, Come this way, etc
SirShades: LOL
BrewLabs: so he gets mad and says loudly --- Bud is Gay --- and the thing types --- Bud is Gay Lucecshe
SirShades: LMAO
BrewLabs: okay --- story time is over

*****

BrewLabs: 89. Am busy picking up women in bars
SirShades: 90. There are no decent women to date in PA anyway
SirShades: 91. Busy handing the Lauer's their heads in 2 on 2 basketball
SirShades: 92. Playing tennis, its 110 degrees, where else would I be.
BrewLabs: 93. Have to retrieve bud's underwear from "The Beav"
SirShades: LMAO
BrewLabs: 94. Traumatized from deer waving his antlers at me
SirShades: 95. Got shot at while fishing by a 12 gauge shotgun, see I caught one of the pellets.
SirShades: Bud, she really likes you. Did she ask about me. Why, yes, yes she did
BrewLabs: 96. Busy living delusional fantasy existence with 14 year old waitress at fishing lodge
SirShades: 97. Listening to Satriani while dancing bare-foot in the Queen Mary and hauling in bass and pike
BrewLabs: 98. Tired after keeping waitress/maids up all night
SirShades: Wow is that an old one
BrewLabs: no kidding --- over half a life ago
SirShades: 99. Towing in friends boat, would've been in hours ago if either of them would've decided to steer.
BrewLabs: 100. No one likes you - why don't you just leave, BITCH!!!

Conclusion

SirShades: Well that was hard work, time to go home
BrewLabs: yeah --- I'm bushed ...